Ridiculous
by the one who hums
Summary: Soul grudgingly helps his ridiculous meister with one of her "injuries."


**A/N:** Just a stupid little idea I got while I was at work. Figured I might as well right a little domestic SoMa to make up for the fact I almost killed Maka in the last thing I wrote.

Disclaimer: Last time I checked, Soul Eater was a fully completed anime and a regularly updated manga. I think that makes it pretty obvious that it isn't me who owns it.

* * *

"You're ridiculous. You know that, right?"

Soul sighs as he sits crouched on the floor of their tiny apartment bathroom. His meister is perched on the closed toilet with her hand held out to him, shifting uncomfortably.

"Look, I told you I can ask someone else to help me. You obviously don't want to—OW!"

"I told you to _sit still_. If you'd quit squirming, this wouldn't hurt so much. And move your head back, you're in my light." She tilts her head back a smidge, just enough for her shadow to stop blocking her hand. But she continues to fidget under Soul's ministrations.

Soul slaps her knee. "Stop that. And I don't mind helping you when you're hurt, but normally it's not something this _stupid_."

"It's not stupid! Splinters are serious! What if it gets infected?"

Soul rolls his eyes and leans in closer to her palm to see the tiny speck better. "How did you get this again?"

"The broom handle." She scoffs. "This is what I get for trying to clean up your messes. Next time you spill pancake mix all over the floor I'm just gonna leave it th—OW OW! Seriously! Have you ever heard of being gentle?"

Soul shakes his head in amazement and sets the tweezers down on the tiled floor. He looks up at her in exasperation. "You don't make any sense! We've had missions where your hand has almost been completely sliced off and you never batted an eye. But GOD FORBID Maka Albarn gets a splinter! Then the entire world has to stop making pancakes to tend to her injuries." His partner gives him a dirty look, causing him to return to his work. "I don't even understand how you managed to get this in the first place. You are literally always wearing gloves," he grumbles as he prods her palm with the tweezers.

"You were there for our last mission, Soul. You know how filthy my clothes got. I'm washing my gloves now." Her expression turned dark as she turned to look at Soul. "And why are you blaming ME for this? If you hadn't carelessly spilled pancake mix everywhere, I wouldn't have had to clean it up!"

"If YOU would learn to pay attention to what you were holding, you wouldn't have gotten this splinter. Don't blame your recklessness on me."

She shakes her head at him. "You and I both know that recklessness comes from a lack of fear, Soul."

"Well you obviously weren't afraid of the broomstick if you manhandled it fiercely enough to get a splinter from it, bookworm."

The Reader's Digest from the back of the toilet seat connects with Soul's skull. He lies on the bathroom floor, groaning, while Maka looks smugly down at her weapon, bathroom literature in her uninjured hand. "Don't say you didn't deserve it." She thumbs mindlessly through the Reader's Digest before returning it to its proper place. "And I'd certainly say I have a healthy fear of broom handles now. So my supposed reckless-streak has ended."

Soul stands up in a huff to leave the bathroom, and his meister, but Maka catches him by the sleeve. "Where are you going?" she whines.

"I refuse to help if I am going to get beaten up! I have pancakes to eat."

"Pleeeease help me!" Soul twists his sleeve out of her grasp and continues to exit the bathroom. Maka yells from her spot on the toilet seat " You owe me, Soul Eater! When you came back from the hospital after the Crona incident I waited on you hand and foot for a week!" She pulled that response out of her ass, but it does its job. Soul stops and turns around.

He looks her, eyes wide, mouth slack. "Are you honestly comparing when I was almost _sliced in half_ to your splinter? Really?" Or maybe it didn't work so well.

"I'm not saying it's exactly the same, but still. A little compensation for my generosity would be appreciated." She holds out her hand.

He's very close to smacking her upside the head when she pouts and blinks her big green eyes at him. "Pleeeeease?"

Soul stares at her for a moment, then sighs loudly and sits back down, making Maka cheer. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

"Shut your trap and sit still, for Shinigami's sake. If my pancakes are cold by the time we get back to the kitchen, so help me." Maka just continues to grin, ignoring her weapon's grumpiness as Soul picks up the tweezers and goes back to his work on her hand.

He digs the tweezers into her palm and pinches the stubborn piece of wood hard enough to make Maka wince again. He looks up at her, and she prepares for him to chastise her for moving too much, but he simply says "I got a good grip on it and I'm gonna pull it out now. Don't move." She tenses and he rips the splinter from her hand. Though she had tried to keep quiet, a yelp escapes Maka's mouth without her consent.

Soul smiles a victorious shark-toothed grin and holds up the tweezers like a prize. "Ha ha! I finally got it! Totally cool!" She giggles at how completely un-cool he's actually acting about getting a splinter out of someone's hand, but masks it with a cough when Soul looks questioningly back at her.

Finished with his task, Soul leaves the bathroom with Maka and returns to the kitchen, where his pancakes are predictably cold. He puts the plate in the microwaves and leans against the counter as he waits for his meal.

Maka's hand stings as she leans back against the counter as well. Her eyes scrutinize her palm. "Are you sure you got_ all_ of the splinter out?" Maka asks curiously.

Soul almost beats his head against the counter. "Are you seriously insinuating that part of the splinter is still in there?"

Maka shrugs. "I don't know. It just stings still." He comes over to look at her hand but doesn't see anything. He tells her so. She looks perplexedly at her hand. "I wonder why it still hurts, then. " Maka looks up at Soul and smiles a teasing smile. "I bet a kiss would make it better!"

For what feels like the millionth time that day, Soul sighs at his ridiculous meister. He pulls her close and plants a kiss square on her mouth before pulling away.

Maka stares at Soul in disbelief. "…You know that when people say that, they want you to kiss the injury, right?"

Soul's face flushes bright red at her words, eyes widening as he realizes his scatterbrained mistake. He turns quickly and rushes to the microwave, punching the 'open' button and retrieving his pancakes. He mumbles over his shoulder "Just shut up and let me eat my pancakes in piece, woman."

She smiles at his embarrassment and skips around him until she can see his face. "You're still bluuuushing!" she sings.

He keeps his eyes focused on the ground as he heads to his room, though Maka can see that his furious blush has crawled to his neck. "And you're still ridiculous."

* * *

**A/N:** One of these days I will write a story where these two actually make out. Today is not that day.

Anyways, that wasn't too awful was it?


End file.
